She Works Hard For The Money

I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do. I'm not waking up every day dreading the work day ahead of me like I used to. I honestly can't say it enough, but I absolutely love my job. I'm one of the few that can say I went to school for the field that I work in.

With all that said, today was my first time being on a set for a commercial! Any set for that matter! It was quite an experience. You'd be surprised how much man power and hours are put in for a 30-second commercial spot. I was excited to be a part of the whole spectacle. The excitement and energy around was thrilling.

If you don't already know, there's also a lot of downtime for stand-ins. And since I'm a people watcher, I sat back waiting for my cues and looking around soaking it all in. When you do this, you tend to overhear lots of conversations. Or at least I do. Maybe it's because I'm not significant of a person to stand out therefore people don't realize I'm in ear shot of everything they say. You know, there are just some days I feel more invisible than others.

Anyways, as they were combing through stand-ins to find who to "feature" in the commercial I hear one of the managers say to the VP, who was the comber, "Too bad one of your favorites is off today." Then said the person's name. This person happens to be someone who was hired around the same time as I was. I don't know how to feel about this. Being an insecure person, I guess I'm upset, hurt, I just don't know... It makes me wonder what do they do that makes them better than me? Aren't we all supposed to be on the same playing field? Our jobs are similar and I know that we handle them similarly. I know it's all very petty.

Let me explain a little.

I'm not asking for sympathy or for any of you to understand, I just want to get this out there. I grew up in a family where if you did your best and put your all into everything it still wasn't enough. But everyone else in my life, friends, teachers, bosses, they always told me how they were proud of me and how they appreciated my hard work. I don't strive to be anyone's "favorite," but I do work hard to be appreciated. I'm told by the media that it's the millennial in me, but I know that's not it either, because I was never coddled in any way.

My husband did tell me he was proud of me the morning of my MBA graduation. That made me happy.

At this point, all that I can do is try to not let this affect my work and emotions and to just keep working hard as usual...