Saying Sorry

Joshua's baby mama contacted him last week. That's what prompted my last post. The more I think about the details of the conversation, one thing seems to replay in my mind...

Joshua apologized to her for not contacting her in over a year. Where I understand where he comes from - not wanting her to think he doesn't care about his child, I felt a bit disrespected by him. I'm still not sure if that's selfish or not. I felt like I was the one owed an apology. As my husband, I believe he shouldn't be contacting any female that isn't family or a mutual friend. Then I retract and say to myself who am I to tell him who he can and can't talk to? And then I remind myself I'm his WIFE! I was the one he chose to spend his life with. As you can see, it's a never-ending cycle in my head.

I don't know what is right or wrong in this situation, but I do know that I too seem to say "sorry" for things that don't warrant an apology. Where it may get annoying to some, I wish more people were apologetic for their actions and words.

There are a handful of individuals from my past that if they apologized to me during whatever said situation, a friendship could've been salvaged. Even if the word "sorry" didn't leave their lips, they could still convey that they cared about me enough to apologize. "I never meant to break your heart." "I wish I could take it all back." "I was in a bad place." Any of those would work. Instead, now it's an awkward game of Duck when I see them in public. I've learned to accept those apologies that I never received so the game isn't accompanied by multiple expletives anymore.

It may be best that Joshua apologized even though he really has nothing to be sorry for. It may just be better to own up to something that may have caused someone to hurt instead of not acknowledging it at all.